week 52: when will my life begin?


In my mid project reflection post, which I wrote back in April, I posted: "I asked myself over and over again if I really believed I was made for music, if I really wanted to give singing the full spotlight it deserved and risk any kind of failure. I really thought if I tried to be a singer and failed then I would lose music." I don't know how I can express to you that this was seriously my biggest fear before starting to record. I would ask, what if nothing comes of this? Is this even worth it? Why am I doing this?

It's absolutely surreal to post my very last track of the 52 Weeks Project. I'm trying to remember how I felt last October, what my expectations were, how I thought I'd feel when I finished. How did I get here? Also, where is here? Where am I right now? A year (+ a few months whoops) later, I'm still a total mixing n00b, and while my track recording process is still rudimentary at best, the sheer amount of personal growth I've experienced this year is beyond overwhelming to think about. My big joke of 2016 has been how God tricked me into character development. "I started this project to record music, not to grow as a person!" Like, come on, Greta.

This week I'm in Disney World, so I thought I'd end with a Disney song (fun fact, I started with a Disney song as well)! I'm feeling a little bit like Rapunzel right now, a little lost in who I am, having just finished a huge step in my journey and kind of waiting on God to move me into the next one. I'm really thinking, when will my life begin? This season was so temporary, it had a very clear expiration date, and that's okay because that was the point. 52 weeks. 52 songs. Just for the sake of making something. It's just...now what?

What's next? A huge chapter for me is ending. Not particularly long, because one year really isn't that significant, but a very full year of work and play and career changes and everything I thought I knew about myself getting flipped upside down. There's so much more I want to say, so I'll save a bit for upcoming blog posts. For now, have a listen to my final track of the 52 Weeks Project!

Before I close the project down, I want to post some huge thank you's.

First of all, to my dear, dear friend Derek, who easily played on the most tracks. I remember texting you way back before week 6 like, "Hey...wanna play on a track sometime? How's this song? Is this song too hard for you? Too easy? Wanna meet up and see how to arrange it?" And we wanted to impress each other (and we did impress each other, right?) and well, recorded song after song after song. You're an incredible musician and it's been an absolute honor to throw so many tracks together this year. You kept me accountable and motivated and honestly, you became the backbone of the whole project. It would not have happened without you. Thank you thank you thank you. You are a God sent blessing.

A huge thank you to Andrew, you are a professional musician and volunteered your services out of the goodness of your heart. I don't take that for granted, at all. Singing with you has always been a huge pleasure. Our whole house would get so excited to have you come over to track, you're so much fun to jam with and I only hope we'll get a chance to work together more and more going forward in our musical journeys. Thank you.

Thank you to Sten, for letting me bug you over and over again to lay down a drum track or to play cajon in the midst of your own full time work and music schedule, you're my forever drummer.

Dad, thank you. You were always an arm's length away with the answer to any question I had, even stepping in to throw together a guitar track to give me something to sing over on a couple of super desperate weeks. Your musicianship is the inspiration of my childhood. And adulthood.

Kenny, thank you for making yourself so available to step in these past few months. I don't take it for granted, you're a fantastic musician and let's work together again soon.

Jessica, thank you for programming for me, and for listening to me talk and whine and babble about this project over and over and over and over again. Let's work together more. You're talented and incredible.

Falicia, Shelby, Eva, Travis, thank you for lending me your voices and musicianship (and support), tracks done with friends are always better than not. You added your own flavor to this project.

Brandon, thank you for guest producing that one song, it was awesome, let's do it again! Maybe it's time to pull out that jazz song?

Rowan, love of my life, be my voice teacher forever.

And to you, anyone who has listened to a single track I've made this year, thank you. Thank you for coming up to me and mentioning the project, for commenting on facebook/instagram/twitter/right here. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for asking me what's next, for supporting me pursuing music. Please continue to support me as I really step into a music career! 

Love (so, so much love),